Ali S. Birth Story

The grand entrance of Riley Jade Shimi

I am a perfectionist. A planner. I am always 15 minutes early to everything. 

So here I was, 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I was texting my friends and family complaining and anticipating. Each and everyone reassured me that each day baby girl was inside, she was getting stronger and healthier for birth and for life. But all I could think was how my ribs were aching, pressure building, and not having her in my arms. My husband is from Africa and is very dark. Me? I am very pale. Since we found out we were pregnant I have anticipated what our bi-racial child would look like. Their hair, skin tone, eyes, lips, everything!!! Now I’m past my “due date” and not able to handle all the emotions of waiting any longer to see her!

I had Luseo (my stepson) on Saturday while Remmy (my husband) was working. I focused on Luseo and the time I could share with him before “baby sister, Wiley” would be joining us. We woke up early, had breakfast together and watched Happy Feet. We later walked about 3 blocks to a park in our neighborhood with one of the dogs. I felt so much pressure in my pelvis, walking was the ultimate relief. I had not had any contractions or any symptoms of labor on this day, my “due date.” Saturday was humid and hot. It had been raining off and on all week and was supposed to storm that night too. We walked back home, slowly. We both had a snack and took a nap. He felt his sister move in my belly and had a look of surprise asking, “What’s sister doing?!?” He seemed so curious and excited! I loved seeing his eyes light up and a big smile on his face. We took him back to his mom on Sunday evening and came home to do our Sunday evening routine. 

We situated food for work the next day, completed work laundry, and I started some exercises on the ball. All week I had been trying anything to get contractions to start.  

Eating pineapple
Walking
Squats
Ball exercises
Yoga
Even a little sexy time... 

AND NOTHING! 

I know now it is all because she was going to come when she was good and ready. She may take after me, just a little.  

Sunday evening I finally accepted that I was not in control of when I would go into labor. As we went to bed Sunday night, we enjoyed each other for what would be the last time before becoming parents together because just one short hour later the contractions began.

Contractions started at 11:37 AM on Sunday, June 2nd at a consistent 10 minutes apart for several hours. I was able to sleep through them, although I was tossing and turning. I timed them to make sure they were consistent and texted my midwife, Silvia, at 1:30 AM. She asked how I felt and suggested I take a hot bath and drink some wine. I replied, “You don’t have to tell me twice!” I immediately got heartburn after 4 sips, but I was just so excited I didn’t care that I wasn’t able to drink the delicious adult juice. The bath helped relax me so much as the contractions continued. I got back in bed and was able to rest until around 6:40 am on Monday, June 3rd. 

Throughout the morning I continued to have contractions that slowly grew in intensity. After birthing classes, all the books, and conversations with April and Kaitlin (Welcome Baby staff) I knew how to cope with these rushes and I knew to keep myself active and up and walking. I kept telling myself that with each one, she was THAT much closer to being in my arms. I would feel one coming on and I would stand up to walk. I would talk to my dogs. I would talk to Riley. Really I was just talking to myself. I encouraged each rush to come and let my body ride with it. I kept texting my bonus mom (because step-mom doesn’t cut it for us), Lesa, and my best friend Elise, who is also largely pregnant overseas! Everyone was so supportive and encouraging, which fed more life and energy into me. 

Around 12:15 PM on Monday, the contractions got stronger and closer together. 

They were consistently between 4-6 minutes. 

I was slowly picking up around the house, anticipating that I would have the birth team and parents over to have a baby today! I knew distracting myself was helping but resting was key. I was on and off the ball, in and out of the bath, and walking a path in my hardwood floors. I called and told Remmy he needed to come home soon to be with me through the stronger rushes. At 1:30 Silvia told me to stop timing the contractions, to take my mind off all the numbers, and to let her know when I had to stop what I was doing to breathe through a rush. 

3:00 PM Remmy came home to me. He helped me with counter pressure and encouraging words. He wanted to be able to do more, but being there and listening to me was exactly what I needed from him. 

4:15 PM I texted Silvia and let her know the time had come when my body needed me to stop everything to take on a contraction. I was on my hands and knees with the birth ball for every surge, I could not stand or sit through them any longer.  

5:00 PM She was here and listening to my sweet baby, asking how I was handling the contractions, and if I wanted her to check my dilation. 

Baby sounded good, heart rate elevated with a contraction. She monitored me for a couple contractions and said they weren’t lasting longer than 30-45 seconds. I told her I did not want her to check me, as I didn’t want to get in my own way. If I was dilated to a certain point, I didn’t want to get myself worked up thinking it was happening soon. If I wasn’t dilated to where I thought I should be, I didn’t want to be disappointed or overwhelmed. She suggested I get in the bath again and try to nap in there for about an hour. She left and said to let her know when the contractions were lasting closer to a minute in length.  

At this point they were more intense and more frequent. I drew a hot bath, Remmy made a sleep spot for him on the bathroom floor right next to the bathtub and talked me through my contractions by repeating, “Breath through it, relax your body.” He was perfect and amazing in every way. By 7:30 I told Remmy to text Silvia, contractions were a minute or longer and I felt the urge to poo! I knew this was a good sign as baby was moving down. She was back just a few contractions later and checked me: I was 100% effaced and dilated to a 6! 

I was in active labor!!! 

She asked if I was ready to move to the birth pool and I was very ready! She set everything up, got the water going in the pool, and assisted me out of the bath. I had a hard contraction on the way to the pool and she squeezed my hips. OH MY! What relief! 

8 PM on Monday I was in my birth pool, in the middle of my little home, with my midwife by my side, and my husband holding my hand. My parents were called and had headed our way (they live 2 hours away) and would make it just in time for the birth of my baby girl.

Remmy hung up all our affirmation cards we made together as I labored in the pool, on my back, and Silvia continued to monitor heart rate and time contractions. She would talk me through the intense ones, repeating, “Sink into them, deep breaths.” 

Each time I heard her voice, I could let go. 

I wasn’t scared
I wasn’t nervous
I was in the zone

I lost track of time while in the birth pool and just focused on the image of baby being head down, going deeper into the birth canal. I turned to hands and knees as I was transitioning which was a huge huge relief because Remmy and Silvia squeezed my hips together with each contraction and the pressure was perfect. April and Kaitlin came over, my dad and Lesa came over, I was surrounded by love, encouragement, and pure strength. Everyone in the room was focused on me and sending me all of their love and support.

Lesa was on the floor in front of me. Feeding me water, love, and praising me. She was rubbing my arms and back. My dad was in the kitchen pacing, praying, and timing contractions.

And I felt every bit of it. 

Each time a rush would come I would say “low” or “breathe” and I would hear Silva, April, and Kaitlin say, “Sink into it,” “Deep cleansing breaths,” and “Relax your shoulders.” With each instruction I relaxed, and she moved lower. 

I never feared the “pain,” because it wasn’t painful, it was intense. It was strong, but I was stronger. I knew I could do it. I never doubted my ability to bring my daughter into this world. 

I only thought of my strength. Of my body being designed to complete this process to meet my child. Even when I stopped pushing, my body continued to do the work for me. The power was unbelievable. Everything about my birth was powerful and positive. 

I kept my eyes closed the entire time. 
It was as if I was dreaming her closer to me. 
I kept talking to her in my heart saying, “We are doing this together, we are working with each other Riley. Come to momma.” 

At the end, when I was pushing and she wasn’t coming as I thought she would, I asked, “What do I do now? How do I get her out?” 

Everyone chanted with me to stay low, keep myself submerged in the water because she was indeed coming with each surge. 

Then I felt my water pop, NOT BREAK - IT POPPED! 

I heard, “Now they will be more intense, but she will be here so soon.” When I heard that, I got so much energy and focus. I could feel her so close. She was stretching me, and I was vocalizing that I thought she was coming. The team told me to slow down, push slower so she could open me just the right size for her head. Then I heard Silvia tell Remmy his baby was coming to move back with her when our daughter was crowning; he needed to catch her.  

I felt her surfacing from me! Her head was out! Then I was told to push her all the way out. 

In one final push, I birthed my first born, my daughter, my soul. I heard Remmy say, “I have our baby, our baby. She’s a girl.”

I heard Lesa’s joy. I heard my dad in the other room crying. I heard the team’s words of love and pride in me. I did it! I had my baby just the way I planned and wanted. 

Then I turned around. There she was, in my husband’s arms. Her eyes were wide open, and she was crying. 

As soon as she was on my chest, she snuggled so close to me. I was in awe, shock, and full of pride. I couldn’t believe it. I was numb. Literally I couldn’t feel my legs! But none of that mattered. Because when I looked into my daughter’s eyes, I melted. We had worked so hard together over the last 24 hours. 

I finally go to hold my daughter in my arms, run my fingers through all her hair, feel the weight of her on my chest rather than in my belly. 

She was perfect.  
At 11:32 on June 3, 2019, my heart broke open and was filled with her love. 
She weighed 6.5 lbs and was 19 and ½ inches long of pure perfection. 

My sweet baby girl Riley, born naturally, in my home, surrounded by love.

I learned so much about pregnancy, birth, and my own strength through this experience. I hope every momma gets a chance to be informed and empowered!